Journal Entry
by The Fellow Marauder
Summary: Yuugi is confused and distressed over having jealous feelings over one of his friends' relationship even though Yuugi does not have feelings for this friend. Please R&R!


Disclaimer: Once more, I do not own the rights to _Yuugiou_. Hunt down Takahashi Kazuki and make him yo pet.

Characters Related: Yuugi, Atemu, Otogi, Mai

Yuugi sighed heavily as he entered into the Kame Game Shop. Allowing his backpack to drop down off his shoulders, he tossed it uncaringly into the far chair before entering into the main house. Suguroko, who was watching the front desk of his little unique toy store, set his eyes worriedly upon his favorite grandson. Turning to face him as little Yuugi passed, he inquired: "Yuugi, are you alright? You look upset about something."

"I'm fine." Yuugi uttered a deep and prolonged sigh once more, suggesting his emotions opposed his response. Grabbing a box of Kashi crackers from the countertop, the small duelist headed into the living room and fell back onto the couch. Picking up the remote, he flipped through the various channels; not even bothering to be interested in anything that was being advertised in front of him. The owner of the game shop watched his grandson worriedly from down the hallway. It was a rarity that his descendent behaved in such a miserable manner, but every time such a thing arose, it always made Suguroko nervous; something must have really hit the small duelist hard.

Another two hours had passed and Yuugi was still sitting noncommittally in front of the tube. The oldest Mutou was closing up shop for the night. Upon finishing, he walked into the kitchen and wondered what he was going to prepare himself and Yuugi for dinner. Striking an idea, a small smile dawned the old man's lips as he passed through the kitchen and wandered into the den. Standing against the back of the couch, he smiled fondly down at his grandson and suggested: "What would you like for dinner, Yuugi? Do you want to go out to eat? Order in pizza? Anything you want."

Yuugi did not even tear his eyes away from the unfeeling TV. "No, thanks, grampa. I'm not really hungry." Suguroko's eyes stole away to the unopened and uneaten Kashi crackers by Yuugi's waist. Worry etching into his brow, Suguroko tried again.

"Yuugi, you have to eat something. My treat. What'll it be?"

"Honestly, grampa." Yuugi insisted, "I'm not hungry." Switching off the TV, the small one left his seat and stood to face his guardian. "I think I'll just go up to my room for the night." Not knowing what else to say or offer his grandson, Suguroko helplessly watched Yuugi walk to the stairs and head up to his room in solitary.

Once reaching his bedroom, Yuugi sighed deeply and shut the door. Leaning against the oak frame, the small boy lowered his gaze to stare at his socked feet. Tears swelled in his bright amethyst eyes and trickled down his cheeks. Raising his hand to his chest, his enclosed fist clutched at his heart as he continued to sob. He ached all over; he was in so much pain and did not even fully understand why. He missed Atemu so much. He had barely spoken to him in two days and being apart from the pharaoh he loved so deeply struck him hard.

Yet this usual pain was not the only thing conflicting the small boy's heart. He was having issues with Otogi. _Again_.

"Goddammit, Yuugi." The small one breathed to himself as he tried to control his sadness and frustration at his body's emotions. "I thought you were over this. Everything was going fine... but this started coming up again." Sobbing, the small duelist made his way over to his bed and sat down on it. Trying for several minutes to clear his tears, he reached over for his journal and a pen. Opening the paper to a random page, he started scribbling down his thoughts.

_Diary._

_It's happening again._

As everything ran through his mind, his heartache only grew stronger and the more blurry his vision became.

_I can't seem to get over this thing between Mai and Otogi. It's not even like they're _doing_ anything. They aren't together. But something about it bothers me; gets under my skin. I don't like feeling uncomfortable like this. I don't like Otogi. Not anything more than a friend, I mean. I know I never could, either. And I don't care when he talks about other boys and other girls... but somehow I react to him and Mai. I feel like... I feel like I'm going to lose him._

_Silly, isn't it? To have such jealous emotions over someone I know I'm not attracted to. I love Atemu; and even if I didn't... Otogi and I would never be. And knowing that, I'm alright._

_Then why is there a need to be jealous?_

_I do, diary; I feel so jealous when they are talking. I feel myself playfully leaning over Mai when she and Otogi are IM-ing. I act like it's a joke; that I just wanna tease her about reading her conversations. But in reality, I can feel how jealous I am towards them being friends. I feel... left out in a way. That they share something special that I don't have with them._

_Why do I feel so selfish like this, diary? I know all this is crazy. I know I have something special with both of them. But when they are together... I don't know. I can't stand it. It gets under my skin. I ;et it bother me. I get jealous and defensive and mean to them. I push them both away. Let them be together. Let them find happiness together. I don't care. I never did._

_It's all a lie._

_A vicious lie._

_Because I am jealous._

_Because I want Otogi to myself._

_...and yet, I don't._

_I just don't want him with MAI._

Yuugi felt a wave of relief overcome him as he finished his short little narration in his journal. Yet the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach worsened. He did not know how to handle his feelings; he did not understand them, or where they were coming from. If he had a crush on Otogi, he would have understood; but he knew he had no such connection with his dice-loving friend.

Lowering his head, he bowed in submission to his emotions. Tears overflowed and fell onto his jeans, leaving their mark like large drops of blood that spilled from his soul. Clutching his shirt in his tight fists, the small boy laid on his side on the bed, his back to the door, and stared at his blank wall between the onslaught of tears.

_Can someone please tell me what's wrong_. was his last thought before succumbing into restless, uneasy slumber.

_Owari_.


End file.
